Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
