my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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