well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
