well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Enjoy the penises
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
