carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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