4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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