No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
