My brain says no but my pants say off.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
