I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
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Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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