he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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