I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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