But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings