My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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