i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?