Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
