So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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