I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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