yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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