You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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