omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
