How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
