go do what you do best...puke behind churches
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
40s are totally the cure
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
