And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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