I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
