No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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