I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
