forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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