You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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