I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
