so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
