Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
