Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
