OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
