Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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