in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
