I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
