I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
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He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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