i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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