What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
