she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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