How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
