apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
