It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
