We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
