This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
