I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So much rum. So many feels.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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