McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
