Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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