Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
