You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
