I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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