hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
