Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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