There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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