I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
