Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
