All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
did i just pee glitter
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
