did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
