when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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