Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
