I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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